Saturday 10 October 2009

First home study appointment


Yesterday we had our first appointment with our new social worker. Am going to call her Bonnie. She is a lovely lady with about 15 years experience in adoption work and made us feel very comfortable straight away. We didn't really know what to expect of the meeting, but in the end it was very relaxed. She spoke to us a lot about our reasons for wanting to adopt, why we had decided not to try for our own baby and a short exploration of our parenting experience and general experience with children. This took about 2 hours at the end of which we did our CRB forms and made our appointments for 6 more visits. Oh, and we found out that our prep course starts in early November and that Bonnie is trying to get us to approval panel in April!! OMG, it is really starting to happen now!

We have also been given some 'homework'. We have to write quite a long piece on the story of our lives (individually) from birth, including any life events, major or minor that shaped us into the people we are today. We also have to put together a family tree, do a diagram representing our social network, a chronology of where we have lived since birth, a chronology of education since birth and we also have to observe some children of the age we want to adopt to get an insight on how they interact with each other and the adults around them (how they play, how long they spend on a task, what attitude they have to a task etc....). Well, how will we fit in work?? Which brings me on to the next topic. Bonnie questioned us quite carefully regarding the adoption leave and what we thought we would have to take and whether we thought that we would need to go back to work following the leave period. We are in a stable position financially, but wouldn't be able to have one of us as a stay at home parent, so we have a bit of thinking to do as to how to manage that. But nothing that has made us feel worried or anxious. We also got our first look at the publications Children Who Wait and Be My Parent. It is hard to stay objective when you see page after page of lovely smiling children and it is hard to imagine what they have been through that has meant they have ended up in the care system. You feel like you want to take them all home, but of course that is unrealistic.

Six years ago we adopted a pair of cats (since sadly deceased) from our local animal sanctuary, and looking at CWW and BMP brought back memories of walking around the cattery, looking at the profiles of each moggie and trying to decide which ones we might like. A decision that was taken away from us as soon as we set eyes on Winston and Meggie - we just knew they were the ones for us. And I am sure, that once we seriously start looking, it will be the same for our child. He or she is out there somewhere.

Our day finished up with a wonderful evening in the pub, taking part in the send off for my colleague and his wife who start the introductions to their new daughter on Monday. They are so excited, but nervous and anxious and so full of emotion it is unbeleiveable to think we might be in the same position in the not too distant future. One of my hobbies is card making so I tried to get the creative juices going and made a card for them (pictured above). They were so thrilled to get one specifically related to adoption it was really sweet.

So today I was going to start on some of the homework, but Flash has taken all the paperwork to work with him, so I guess he must be keen to get started.

Elsewhere, lost 2lb this week, the packers lost to minnesota and the chickens aren't eating very well cos they don't like autumn.

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