The PAR.....

......has arrived. Came in the post yesterday morning. On the whole it is a good reflection of our family, although as it is effectively a document which sells you to childrens' social workers, having so much praise and positivity in there felt a little weird. But I think that is down to the 'British', trait of not being comfortable accepting praise or compliments. It is much easier to be self deprecating!! There are a couple of minor inaccuracies but nothing that we feel strongly enough about to have to change, other than to point out where a couple of dates don't match up (same event but different dates given in different sections of the report).

I think the nerves are well and truly settling in. Flash in particular is having difficulty facing up to the change that is coming to our lives. He likes our life, he likes our lifestyle, he likes our freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants, he was ambivalent about he process and is doing it for me...... I could say the same thing, but at the same time, there is something missing and it feels as if we are in a 'comfort rut'. I can't explain how I feel, only that if our life remains as it is I will be bored forever. I guess I need a challenge and part of life's challenge to me is having a family, and I am ready to add to mine. But I also know I cannot do this unless Flash is fully on board. So (rhetorical question) do I put this down as pre-approval jitters or Flash admitting his true feelings? It is only with me he is like this. With our friends from prep group (we met up at the weekend) he was positive and bubbly and fully engaged in talking about all things adoption. I need to talk to him about it but he is away for work this week so it will be a weekend chat.

Thanks to Ali, my fellow blogger, I have taken up crochet. With reasonable success. So when I get a chance I will load up my efforts thus far. I am sure they will get better!! Off to buy some more wool now!!