Final prep course day

Do you know I quite got used to being the student for a change and I will miss the prep group sessions, not least because of the lovely people we met on them. I sent them all the address for this blog so if you are reading guys - you know who you are and hope you are well and things are progressing with home study.

This last day concentrated very much on the types of contact arrangements that we can expect between an adopted child and their birth family. This can range from no contact at all (very rare) through letter box contact (common) to direct contact with siblings/grandparents (reasonably common) and direct contact with birth parent (very rare). Each adoptive and birth family is assessed on their likely ability to manage the different types of contact but of paramount importance is that whatever is decided has got to be in the best interests of the child. The likelihood of the birth family keeping their end of the arrangements is also considered as even if only one letter a year is to be exchanged, an adopted child could be further traumatised if they are expecting a letter that is not received. An adoptive parent came in to explain her arrangements - a combination of letter and direct contact - and it was really interesting to see how it worked and to hear reports of how her daughter dealt with the process. This is an area that we will be considering very carefully and I am sure will be disussed further in our home study visits with Bonnie.

In addition the approval and matching process was explained and we had a little flick through the Be My Parent and Children Who Wait publications. Because we are with a voluntary agency our child is likely to come from out of the area and so these publications are really useful for family finders. But we have a long way to go before we start looking - I think we will wait until Bonnie has finished her home study visits and while she is writing up the PAR, we can busy ourselves with the mags and websites.

Normally at this time of year we would be planning our next year's summer holiday, but we don't quite know what to do. If we go to approval panel as planned in April we could be matched within weeks or it could take months. So do we book a holiday with brother and sis in law like last year (Flash is very keen on this) and take a chance that we will either be matched early perfect (!) child will move in and come with us, or that we won't be matched until after the holiday? The realistic view is that if we are matched in the summer any holiday is likely to be too stressful for a newly adopted child so we shouldn't plan anything. But I do love the sun......!

Christmas plans continue and it feels strange that this could be our last as a family of 3. I try not to think too far ahead however as there are no guarantees of a quick match.

The next task for us to do is to finish off the prep group homework ready for our next meeting with Bonnie - a life story book to do for a hypothetical case, a few more bits on support networks etc.

But for now, I am off to do a bit more internet shopping for Christmas, with the Thanksgiving NFL matches playing in the background - packers currently winning against detroit but we still have the second half to go.