a little update on our enquiries

Bear with me as I try to get this right. A - still no news. B is matched and C is linked with someone locally, all as we were expecting. D we have heard nothing back about yet but our profile has been sent to the SW. We have asked for details of E and our profile has been sent. We also today asked for details on F and G. Because the limits we have set ourselves and our family finding I think this is pretty good for the first month post approval. Enough to keep us busy but not too much to be overwhelming. Of course the narcissistic/neurotic/paranoid side of me wants to know whether the SWs like our profile or if it is being binned with nary a thought. I am sure we will get some info back on that soon though and it will be one of the questions that we will ask Bonnie in due course.

Had a lovely day out with my sister on Saturday. At first it was just going to be a visit to Costco, but she had an appointment with the fashion advisor at a large store to try to find an outfit for a family wedding. Well, having sat in on the experience of someone else running around the shop finding outfits for you rather than trawling through yourself I think I might have to give it a try. I am beginning to think that a lot of my work clothes are looking tatty so do need to go get some more, but as I hate loath and detest trawling round shops i think i might have found the solution!

dum de dum de dum

Lots of people told me that the first couple of weeks post approval might be a bit anticlimactic and they were right. We are now approved, we have the decision maker's letter confirming the panel recommendation and have put out feelers to a few social workers as per previous post. And nothing else. Is happening. Don't get me wrong, we are in no hurry to take in the first child we are offered, but it is a very strange feeling. No visits with Bonnie on a regular basis. No having to get the house clean and tidy on a regular basis (not that I can get it clean with all the building dust at the mo). And the feeling that all this learning we have done about child development and attachment and trauma etc will slip such that when a child is matched we will have forgotten it all! And the questions have changed from - 'when are you approved' to 'have they found you a child yet'. I am quite glad it is assessment season as the piles of marking are keeping me very busy. talking of which, 24 x 3000word essays await my critical and objective attention!

Approved!!

We were recommended for approval to adopt at panel yesterday. Leading up to the event I had thought I wasn't nervous. But a bad night's sleep and not being able to manage breakfast for probably the first time EVER have made me think otherwise. Flash was Mr Laidback and went to work in the morning. Me on the otherhand had to indulge in a bit of retail therapy to keep busy. Came away with some nice clothes for work, but will have to reflect on whether my choices were informed and conscious as I bought stuff that I wouldn't normally!

The panel itself was not an ordeal. The whole process from arrival lasted 30 minutes. Bonnie went in first for 15 minutes to answer questions and them came out with the panel chair who introduced herself and told us the areas they wanted to discuss. These were pretty much as expected - how would we manage Flip's transition to uni and his bonding with a new child, how did Flash manage his sight issues and how would he keep track of a young child. What had we learned from the home study and prep group process. We were easily able to answer these, with a bit of humour that had the panel giggling politely and we came away feeling that we had presented ourselves well. Which was obviously the case as we had the good news within 10 minutes and the comment that the panel thought we were a lovely couple. We fooled them!! Only joking lol! We are also ecstatic that Micky and Minnie, our friends from prep group (sorry about the names guys if you are reading!!!) were also recommended for approval so a lovely couple of hours was spent at the pub celebrating with some beer, wine and chips!

So what now? Well, we will get a letter in the next week from the agency decision maker confirming the panel's recommendation and then it is all systems go in finding our new family member. Bonnie has enquired about 4 children already. We are looking for a little girl of school age. Of the 4, SW for A likes our details but a birth family member has cropped up wanting to be considered, so an assessment will have to be done on them meanin it could take several months before we know whether A will be in or out of the birth family. SW for B said they are still family finding in the local area but will keep in touch. SW for C and D have not yet answered so potentially have been on holiday over Easter. We are not in any hurry anyway - we would rather take our time to get the right match than rush into anything.

Have finally taken some crochet pics. Here they are. 2 panels waiting to be joined together, currently about 2/3 of what I hope the finished size will be. The blanket reflects the colour scheme (shades of lavender and cream) that we will be using in the bedroom when done. The single square is actually a lovely dark purple and not the brown colour that the camera on my phone has turned it into!

2 sleeps till.....

....approval panel. So nearly at the end of the first part of our journey. I can't work out if I am nervous or not. I am having very vivid dreams but sleeping OK, but my appetite is not as healthy as usual ( 2lb off at fat club this week) and I seem to be getting way more work done than usual - subconscious distraction technique maybe? The bedroom is nearly finished, but a side effect of the renovations up there is that we are going to replace the kitchen ceiling, as 2 floor joists had to be replaced as they were rotten. In replacing them parts of the old tongue and groove ceiling (which was falling apart anyway) had to be taken down and so, in for a penny.... here comes a new ceiling. This house really is like the forth bridge!!

It is exciting to see some positive news, and some anxious news from my fellow bloggers - I have been reading but not posting as this time of year is manic with marking and exam arrangements so most of my computer time has been spent on that. So m&m and Ali - best wishes, my thoughts are with you.

Flash seems to have got over his spell of the collywobbles but is still adamant that he will not be rushed into choosing the first child suggested and that we will take our time - which is what I thought we were doing anyway.

Still haven't managed to take any photos of my crochet efforts, but I have about half a granny square blanket completed. I will show it off eventually, I promise.

Good luck and best wishes to everyone else going to approval panel this week.

The PAR.....

......has arrived. Came in the post yesterday morning. On the whole it is a good reflection of our family, although as it is effectively a document which sells you to childrens' social workers, having so much praise and positivity in there felt a little weird. But I think that is down to the 'British', trait of not being comfortable accepting praise or compliments. It is much easier to be self deprecating!! There are a couple of minor inaccuracies but nothing that we feel strongly enough about to have to change, other than to point out where a couple of dates don't match up (same event but different dates given in different sections of the report).

I think the nerves are well and truly settling in. Flash in particular is having difficulty facing up to the change that is coming to our lives. He likes our life, he likes our lifestyle, he likes our freedom to do whatever he wants whenever he wants, he was ambivalent about he process and is doing it for me...... I could say the same thing, but at the same time, there is something missing and it feels as if we are in a 'comfort rut'. I can't explain how I feel, only that if our life remains as it is I will be bored forever. I guess I need a challenge and part of life's challenge to me is having a family, and I am ready to add to mine. But I also know I cannot do this unless Flash is fully on board. So (rhetorical question) do I put this down as pre-approval jitters or Flash admitting his true feelings? It is only with me he is like this. With our friends from prep group (we met up at the weekend) he was positive and bubbly and fully engaged in talking about all things adoption. I need to talk to him about it but he is away for work this week so it will be a weekend chat.

Thanks to Ali, my fellow blogger, I have taken up crochet. With reasonable success. So when I get a chance I will load up my efforts thus far. I am sure they will get better!! Off to buy some more wool now!!

4 weeks and counting.........

........until approval panel!

The time really has flown since we first met Bonnie and started home study. And it has been very strange not having our regular appointment. The profile we have do do for sending out to other agencies/LAs is nearly done. I find it very hard to 'sell' our family and what we can offer a child.

The bedroom is coming on well:

from this................................to this............................and currently.........

Just a little decorating job we thought!!

Meeting up with friends from prep group on Saturday so really looking forward to that. If my car is fixed. I have been smelling a strange rubbery smell, so took it in yesterday to get it looked at and they wouldn't let me take it home. The cambelt casing has cracked, and the cambelt is rubbing against it, hence the smell. So new cambelt needed as a precaution against any damage that might have been done to it even though It was done only 18 months ago. Oh well. No Easter eggs for the boys this year then!!

busy busy

Just a short post. So busy at work with marking and so on, extra time at the computer is not my favourite pastime at the moment.

We have finished home study yay! Bonnie has gone off to write the prospective adopters report and left us with a list of things to get done before approval panel including getting a fireguard, batteries for the smoke alarms (they were working a month ago-honest!), cupboard and drawer locks, medicine cabinet etc... And we have to do a one page flyer to start sending out to social workers. This consists of a photo of the three of us followed by 3-500 words telling the world all about us! What to say.....

Oh, and the carpenter started on the bedroom today so I am feeling hopeful that we might actually get it done before panel!